Home

Most of you know that we recently bought a new home. I've been pretty stressed about paying for it and everything we have to do for it. Recently I was reminded that that house is not my home. No house on this earth can or ever will be my home. My home is in heaven and I really need to keep that perspective, especially right now. Earth has a way of getting you down and worried about little things, I need to keep my eyes focused on what really matters and how I can prepare to go Home.

Hurt

Have you ever been hurt by people? Did you feel that gave you a right to hurt them or someone else? There was an ad I saw online a few days ago and it got me thinking. The ad was asking if you had been hurt by 'the church' and it was supposed to get you all irate and join their cause of anti- church. It just made me sad. Yes of course we've all been hurt. But think about this before you turn your back on people because they hurt you. Jesus was crucified by the church. He was called terrible names by people who didn't even know Him. And Christ was betrayed, to the death, by one of His closest friends. Do you really feel as if you have cause to be angry for being hurt? I'm saying people will hurt you, many many times. How you deal with it is what truly matters.

Waiting.... and waiting....

I have a new theme song. Through some difficult parts of my life I've picked different songs that really encourage me. Right now that song is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. I am not good at waiting, at all. Joe says I'm a very "right now" kind of person. We have an accepted offer on our house, now we basically have to wait almost two months for our closing. I want to go in right now, take out the carpet, paint the walls, and move in . But I can't do any of the till mid-April. This song remind me that instead of getting frustrated about what I can't do, I need to be looking for what I can do. I need to be serving God in this time and being patient. It's hard, but in His strength I can.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

AHHH!!!!!

Well life happens very fast sometimes. Me and Joe started talking about buying a house in the past month or so. Well no we officially (almost) have one. We have agreed on a price with the sellers and now we'll start the inspections and all that fun stuff. =) It's very exciting and also very scary. We are learning so much how to communicate with each other and how to trust Christ. It's been an amazing ride and I am so looking forward to living our next several years in this house. Thanks everyone for the well wishes and encouragement!

"Just let it go"

I thought of something while at work today. The story is how to catch a monkey. The basic idea is you put a piece of fruit in a jar and the monkey will reach in, grab the fruit but then his fist is too big to get through the hole. He could be free if he let go of the fruits, but he will not (at least according to stories. I have no idea if this is true or not). I feel like I am experiencing that this week. Except it's not even something I want. I keep clutching worry. We're in the process of buying and looking for a house, and it can really overwhelm me. I realized today that I keep grabbing this worry, thinking I need it, but all it's doing is holding me back. I need to release that worry to God and let Him take care of it. Sometimes I catch myself clutching worry, letting it go and then minutes later grabbing it again. What is your 'piece of fruit'?

Timing is everything

I recently blogged about how marriage has made me more open, especially with other women. Marriage has changed me in more then that way, although I don't have time to go into everything! One thing I think is funny that has changed is my view of what is an 'acceptable' amount of time to date before engagement and marriage. I felt more time meant less struggle later on in marriage. Before I started dating my husband that time frame was 4 years. I really did not see myself getting to know someone well enough in less then that time. Once I started dating that time frame shrunk by about half. Ok, so now we're looking at two years dating and engagement. Now I was shorten it even still. Now I don't have a specific time line in mind, but I think it can be really good to be short. Here are my reasons, first of all it doesn't make marriage any easier. You'll have the same amount of struggles whether you know each other for six years or six months. It's just hard to live with someone else. Secondly, the longer you date the higher the temptation is. I think as long as you have some basic principles in mind then it's probably ok. Principles like serving Christ, divorce not being an option and willingness to communicate. I believe based on these any marriage can have great success.

Monopoly

I really like to play the game Monopoly. One of my main rules is to not accept money (or at least not only money) as for trade. Money is so worthless in that game. Sure it does help you buy new properties and build them up, but once the game really gets going you can really blow through it very quickly. I want something that will work for a trade, like more properties etc. Real life is like that sometimes. If all you're trying to get out of life is money you'll have a sad life ahead. But if you realize money is really pretty worthless, you can focus on what really matters. Sure money is nice, but it won't last. Even just in this world it won't last, let alone heaven. Try to get what really matters, relationships, serving God and growing closer to Him. Everything else is just paper.

How marriage can change you

I think one of the biggest things that has changed for me after marriage is openness. Of course I'm more open with Joe, but I think marriage has taught me how to be open with other women. I usually take a long time to trust someone enough to share my heart with them. I was never one to talk openly about struggles I was having. I wanted people to have as good of an image of me as I could project so I never really wanted to talk about the 'dirty laundry'. After we got married I was fortunate enough to have a really good friend who had also very recently been married. We were able to share our struggles and it was wonderful knowing I was not alone. One thing I now feel is really important is talking to women, especially who are getting married about marriage. That it's not all unicorns and rainbows. That it is normal to fight, that it can even be good to fight sometimes. I thought going into marriage that I had a pretty good idea of what it would be like. I wish I had spent more time with married women to really find out. Now I'm not saying that marriage isn't wonderful. It is. It's one of the best things ever. But it is so hard and it takes work. I want to be able to show people that our relationship, that no relationship, is perfect.

Worship

This is a passage I found really cool in church a few days ago. "Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all the things which fill it; Let the field be exultant, and all that is in it! Then shall all the trees of the wood song for joy." Psalm 96:11-12. I love these verses. It's like all these things in nature proclaiming God's glory. Think of it, the sea roaring- like when it's crashing against rocks and surging with the tide. The field be exultant, that's that it waving in the wind. Next time you drive by a field, really look at it and think that that grain or corn or whatever is bringing glory to God just because it's there. Can that be said about me? That people could just look at me, or talk to me and be able to see the glory of God. Think of Psalm 19:1 " The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork." I want to be like that. I want to make God's glory and joy so obvious in me that it will just come out no matter what I do. It should be so natural that it's like the ocean crashing against the shore. I think that's so cool. :)

Christian songs

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is Christian artists that re-do secular songs and "make" the songs Christian. I can kind of understand the point of it, but at the same time I think it's a little ridiculous and here is why. As  Christians we have unlimited connection with the Creator of the entire universe. He made gigantic stars that I can't even wrap my head around how big they are, but He also made the delicate wings of the butterfly. Now if we have all this creativity inside us, then why do Christians feel the need to borrow secular songs instead of writing new ones? Also why do they write songs that repeat the same seven words over and over and over. Why is it that one a whole the most uncreative songs are Christian? We can't think of anything unique to say to the Creator? Why is that? Now I'm not really a musical person in general so this is just from me looking in, so it's very possible I'm wrong. But does it make sense to you? It sure doesn't to me.

Thoughts about heaven

Today I'm using a quote from my friend Lacy as my blog :)
"I was looking at my feet as I walked into NICC (a community college) and they had used a ridiculous amount of salt and in the sunlight and the wetness on the salt it looked like diamonds and I wondered if that's how heaven will be. That the streets of gold will be brilliant but we won't really even notice because they will be the streets and we will treat them just like the streets here. Not important. I think that the point of having streets of gold is that everything we are so sure is important about earth, like pursuing riches really isn't."

Sanctuary

I've read several articles about making your bedroom a sanctuary, especially in marriage. In these articles they suggest never working in the bedroom, no laundry, kids, fighting, always having it clean and lighting candles etc. Basically making it as perfect as possible. I disagree with this. In our bedroom it is almost the only place I am totally me. I don't care if it's messy or if we fight. I cry and share my thoughts most freely in our bedroom. I don't want the pressure of being perfect in our bedroom. I'd rather put my efforts into being open. To me the atmosphere of our bedroom is not nearly as important as being transparent to my husband. Sure I like it clean, but I'm not going to have it spotless all the time. That's just unnecessary stress.