2 words that will kill your marriage.

Someone from my church shared this and I absolutely had to share it with you. This very nearly happened in my relationship, before we were even engaged. Joe is the first guy I dated and so at one point I was asking if he was the best guy out there for me. I think that's a very important question, but you also have to remember that you cannot go through life always checking out how the grass on the other side looks. If you keep looking at your 'if onlys' your own 'grass' will die. 

So here a post from refineus.org    

There are so many things that your marriage can survive. You marriage can survive miscommunication. Your marriage can survive busy schedules. Your marriage can overcome conflict with your in-laws. Your marriage can get through sexual brokenness and unforgiveness. But, there are two words that will eventually bring an end to your marriage…if not legally then definitely emotionally.

The two words are…

…IF ONLY…

If only my wife had sex with me more often
If only my husband looked at me like my boss does
If only we had kids
If only we made more money
If only we lived in a bigger house
If only we would have dated longer
If only she took care of herself like the lady at the gym
If only my high school boyfriend and I would have stayed together
If only we hadn’t had kids so young
If only she understood me
If only he listened to me
If only I knew we were soul mates
If only she cooked more or better
If only he could do things around the house

If only causes you to focus on what isn’t rather than on what is. If only allows your mind to fantasize about someone that isn’t your spouse. If only believes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If only paralyzes us in the pursuit of our spouse and convinces us that a perfect marriage is competently up to the other person. If only will slowly destroy intimacy and leave you in a place of resentment. If only will trick you into believing that the best days of your marriage are behind you and and not ahead of you.

The best thing you can do for your marriage today is remove “if only” from your mind and heart.

You can’t change the past, but you can prevent the past from destroying your future.

Do you struggle with the thought of “if only”?

http://refineus.org/2011/08/2-words/

Control

That's a touchy word isn't it? I wouldn't label myself as a controlling person. But then I heard something on the radio that really mad me think. It was on our local Christian station and it was a little devo from Proverbs 31 Ministries. She asked if circumstances feel out of control, do we become more controlling? For me this comes out in subtle ways (usually haha). If I'm feeling like circumstances are going crazy, one of my favorite things to do to de-stress is bake. I never realized why till this morning. I think it's because I can control the baking. If the cake or whatever don't turn out, it's because I didn't do something right. As long as I follow the instructions, everything will turn out. It's a little piece of control, when I desperately need it. I know this is poor writing since I don't really have a conclusion. Joe, who I usually sound all my ideas off and talk through them before posting, is out watching a baseball game in Chicago. So I can't talk to him about this. But here's the link for the devotional.
http://www.proverbs31.org/radio/control-2012-08/

Kitchen!

We are making great progress on the kitchen, even if I don't always post pictures right away... =)
Here's the new back splash,

 New kitchen counter. It's kind of a marble finish.

 Flooring which looks like sandstone.

Also I forgot to post this. Joe built me drawers for my kitchen! We had none in the whole kitchen, but now I have 3 and he's going to put in 3 more. The trashcan is where the dishwasher will be soon.

Losing- part 2

I just have to write about this song again. It's so amazing! Last night me and Joe looked up the lyrics for the first time. Well in one part of the song its much quicker so I always ended up missing exactly what was said.

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up, but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and them it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of Mercy and Your Grace, Father, send Your angels down

Ah, I love this so much! This is so contrary to everything the world says we should do. Instead of hating people and holding onto hurt this is saying to just let it go and let God take care of it. 

Another great part is here

Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
But I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done

I know I often feel like i 'have' to be angry about something. But whatever they've done to us, is nothing for what Christ forgave us for.  Can you tell I love this song?! =)

Intorvert Vs. Shy

Recently I thought of something. For pretty much most of my life I was trying to change my personality. I wanted to be the fun outgoing person who was always ready for a good time. I didn't want to be labeled as shy. I realized that shy and introvert are not the same thing. In my dictionary it does actually say introvert means shy, but it also says introverts are typically self centered which I totally disagree with. So I don't put much faith in this particular dictionary. But the origin of introvert is to keep 'turn ones thought inward'. I think this is a much better description. I can accept being introverted as part of my God given personality. I don't mind being around people, I just prefer it be in much smaller groups of 1-4. Here's a link talking more about it, which I thought was very helpful.
http://www.bennadel.com/blog/2396-Quiet-The-Power-Of-Introverts-In-A-World-That-Can-t-Stop-Talking-By-Susan-Cain.htm

'Losing"

I've been thinking alot about a new song from Tenth Avenue North. It's called Losing and I recommend you look it up.Here's the first verse and chorus.
I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong?
Don't they know it's wrong?

Well maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard

This is love. This is hate. 
We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

At first I didn't really get this song. But due to some circumstances with my friends it has become more and more clear. I love the chorus especially. The second to last line is probably my favorite. When you're hurt by people it's impossible to forgive them and love them in your own strength. We have to very often ask for the strength to forgive them. It's been really cool for me to remember that.